TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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