my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
this boner is exhausting
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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