So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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