like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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