i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
