i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
