My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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