she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
