plz talk dirty to me
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
