I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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