oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
