Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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