Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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