Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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