4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
