Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We named our party play list daddy issues
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
