I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
