exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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