we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
