I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
