dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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