I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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