you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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