If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
