What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
