and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
