it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize