I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize