nut hugger
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
