How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
