she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
