i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize