There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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