Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
