Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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