I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
