Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
