Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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