Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
