I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize