I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
How naked do you want me to be?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
