Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
