I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
