Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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