someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
