He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
