YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
we're so committed to being not committed
I think I just shit out all my problems.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
