Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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