Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
how do flat chested girls get laid?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
