The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize