you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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