If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
