i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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