I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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