All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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