4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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