Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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