READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
