Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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