I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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