College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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