All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize