Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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