please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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