he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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