I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
