giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You ate ashes out of my bong
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