hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
