ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
